SCARS

THE FILMS I HAVE BEEN SCARRED BY

ALWAYS A USEFUL LIST

MARTYRS
(Pascale Laugier)

I used to believe that only a true horror aficionado would have seen this film. But in time I began to understand that I didn't get to stick my flag in this movie as it was already something of a legend. French horror movies man, I don't what it is that makes them so horrifying but LIKE CLOCKWORK every one leaves me wanting to lie face-down on the floor for the rest of the night. A friend (my partner in crime when it comes to horror) and I did in fact stumble upon this one at our local video store one evening. I can't even remember if she had heard something notable about the film or we were just feeling lucky but jesus. Needless to say, there was a stray hammer laying on her kitchen counter after the film and we had a collective meltdown. 

VERDICT: ESSENTIAL

I think this remains one of my favorites because I didn't think so much carnage could be packed into a film that still managed to make me think about the bigger questions of life while I was trying to hold back the tears/vomit. 

THE CABIN IN THE WOODS
(Joss Whedon & Drew Goddard)

Dear Lord I love this movie. When it came out I saw it two nights in a row. Before the end of the week I owned the screenplay and the novelization. Why? Because it's one of the best movies written this side of Scream. Same running commentary only this film takes it to a whole other level. Absolutely hilarious and doesn't compromise on scares. This is a film that knows its niche. People who don't know horror think it's terrible for all the reasons that really make it excellent. So yes, this is a movie that I will never be ashamed to love.

VERDICT: MARATHON THE NECESSARY SLASHERS BEFOREHAND. OBSERVER CONVENTIONS AND CHARACTER ARCHETYPES. WATCH THIS FILM AND LEAVE ENLIGHTENED. 

ERASERHEAD
(DAVID LYNCH)

I saw this film for the first time in theatres with an introduction by Vincenzo Natali. This movie has been hyped to an unimaginable level since I first started watching movies. I assumed, as did everyone else, that once I finally saw it, it would be laughable what with its low budget production and the dude on the poster's wild hair. But needless to say I just about lost it somewhere in the middle of this movie. If I'd had a remote I would have switched it off in an instant. But I didn't have that liberty so I found myself cringing through the rest of the film. In short I couldn't think back to the film without "In Heaven Everything is Fine" playing in my head complete with the creepy girl in the heater. Agh. 

VERDICT: WATCH THIS FILM. TRY AND EMBRACE THE NIGHTMARE.